An Unexpected Path to SCI. Twice.
I recognized the incoming number on the screen as my phone buzzed quietly in my hand. As a funeral director, I seldom took any calls on my cell phone during an arrangement conference. But I knew I had to take this one - it was my doctor. And I knew why he was calling: he had my biopsy results. Excusing myself from the arrangement room, I slipped into a nearby vacant office and, preparing myself to sound upbeat, swiped the green answer button.
"Thanks for calling, Doc..."
"Hi, David. I have some difficult news...all four of your biopsy cores were conclusively malignant," he continued. "You have Mantle Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's an aggressive cancer. You'll need to see an Oncologist from here. I can set up whatever you need.....I'm so sorry."
If he said anything else, I didn't hear it. My mind went into that place where things just swirl - where you hear, but just can't process. Only my wife, Linda, was aware of the biopsy - and that was only because I needed someone to drive me home after the procedure. I hadn't told our kids or my parents or my staff or anyone else. My mind was numb and deeply jumbled, and everything in my world just flipped upside-down. Suddenly, I realized I had to double down, go back into the arrangement room, and continue planning someone else's funeral. . .
About 10 days later, I was plainly told by the doctors coordinating my treatment regimen that the prescribed treatment would either work for me or it wouldn't. There were no alternatives. Diagnosed as Stage IV, I could expect to live, perhaps, up to three years if I declined treatment. I didn't like that option. At all. At 50 years old, with our son and daughter-in-law expecting our first grandchild in just a few weeks and our daughter getting married in only four months, I had a lot to live for. But I also had an awful lot on my plate owning and operating a pretty busy funeral home. I knew I had some difficult decisions ahead of me.
Our kids had already completed college and had chosen other career paths. The lack of a built-in succession model with the kids had never concerned me before; I had "prepared" - in my own mind, at least - for that eventual retirement glide slope. And I was going to start working on that...some day.
But this wasn't "some day". This was right now - in the moment - and it was 4th & Long with no time-outs left. At the same time my game clock was quickly ticking away, all the rules of the game changed.
I was plainly told by the doctors that my options were very limited. There was but one option for long-term remission: a complete stem cell transplant. And I was told it wasn't very likely I would be a candidate for that. And if it turned out I could be a candidate, there was certainly no assurance that it would be successful. Facing this reality, I knew the most responsible thing I could do was to step aside from ownership. I certainly didn't want to create additional turmoil for my wife, my family, my staff, or the community who had placed such sacred trust in our firm. There was just too much at risk for too many.
Among my greatest convictions in my decision to sell was a deep and abiding concern for the best depth and breadth of experience, knowledge and resources to successfully continue the firm - with well over 100 years of history - into perpetuity. My predecessors deserved that. The funeral home staff deserved that. Our community deserved that. And I needed that.
My biggest surprise? SCI was personable, open, honest, and honorable at every turn. I found them to be well-versed, well-prepared, and with a depth of knowledge and experience that was as appreciated as it was necessary for the quick time-frame my circumstances required. Moreover, they were clearly concerned about me - as a person . . . my health and my prognosis and my family - and made sure that I understood, along with my brokers, every single step and every single detail of the process.
The closing was on-time, with every last detail as discussed and as agreed. With the firm ownership now transitioned into capable hands, I was freed to focus solely on a stem cell transplant, now only three days away, and everything that restoring my health would demand of me. Turns out, that took everything I had.
Fast forward. The stem cell transplant was successful! My health continued to improve. Follow-up procedures were completed on schedule and my immune system - completely wiped out by the quantity and the severity of the chemotherapy I had received - is fully rejuvenated. Blood count trajectories indicate positive trends toward continued remission. For all of this, I am truly blessed and exceedingly grateful and have been in remission now for over 7 years.
Months following the sale, my staff members were still working at the funeral home and families were still being served with the same level of care, compassion, and professionalism the firm was known for. And, to my continued amazement, John Faulk from SCI continued to call me regularly, just to see how I was doing. I could not have been more impressed.
Several conversations later, I mentioned to John that someone should really share this process with other owners, whether they ever intend to sell or not. There are so many things that most funeral home owners don't ever have to think about, I reminded him, until they choose to - or, like me, have to - sell. Waiting until then, I found, significantly limits your options and the learning curve can be pretty steep.
About a year after my transplant and back on the road to restored health, I found myself on a second unexpected path with SCI: I am honored to have joined this very same SCI team that had immeasurably helped me during the most critical time and transition of my professional life. And this role with SCI is as pay-it-forward as I could possibly imagine: I get to help other owners learn and understand critical aspects of transitional preparedness that I can only wish I had known before that game-changer phone call from my doctor completely rocked my world.
Please know that you don't need to be interested in selling - just interested in educating yourself - in order to appreciate this conversation. There are critical metrics to understand, important documents that should be readily available, and essential concepts to be aware of if ever you would find yourself selling your firm - whatever the reason, and whoever the buyer.
It's been said many times that no one plans to fail - but many fail to plan. As funeral directors, we've all helped people in our communities understand the importance and the value of planning ahead for their funeral arrangements. And, we all know, that while many intend to get their pre-arrangements in place, comparatively few ever actually get it done.
In the midst of aggressive cancer treatment and facing potentially the worst, I was reduced - by default - to learning everything about selling my firm as I actually went through the process. You don't have to. Feel free to call me at 563.293.6920 or drop me a line at [email protected]. We can have a completely confidential conversation with no obligation, no expectation, and no pretense. You certainly don't need to be interested in selling to benefit from the conversation.
Just willing to learn.
"Thanks for calling, Doc..."
"Hi, David. I have some difficult news...all four of your biopsy cores were conclusively malignant," he continued. "You have Mantle Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's an aggressive cancer. You'll need to see an Oncologist from here. I can set up whatever you need.....I'm so sorry."
If he said anything else, I didn't hear it. My mind went into that place where things just swirl - where you hear, but just can't process. Only my wife, Linda, was aware of the biopsy - and that was only because I needed someone to drive me home after the procedure. I hadn't told our kids or my parents or my staff or anyone else. My mind was numb and deeply jumbled, and everything in my world just flipped upside-down. Suddenly, I realized I had to double down, go back into the arrangement room, and continue planning someone else's funeral. . .
About 10 days later, I was plainly told by the doctors coordinating my treatment regimen that the prescribed treatment would either work for me or it wouldn't. There were no alternatives. Diagnosed as Stage IV, I could expect to live, perhaps, up to three years if I declined treatment. I didn't like that option. At all. At 50 years old, with our son and daughter-in-law expecting our first grandchild in just a few weeks and our daughter getting married in only four months, I had a lot to live for. But I also had an awful lot on my plate owning and operating a pretty busy funeral home. I knew I had some difficult decisions ahead of me.
Our kids had already completed college and had chosen other career paths. The lack of a built-in succession model with the kids had never concerned me before; I had "prepared" - in my own mind, at least - for that eventual retirement glide slope. And I was going to start working on that...some day.
But this wasn't "some day". This was right now - in the moment - and it was 4th & Long with no time-outs left. At the same time my game clock was quickly ticking away, all the rules of the game changed.
I was plainly told by the doctors that my options were very limited. There was but one option for long-term remission: a complete stem cell transplant. And I was told it wasn't very likely I would be a candidate for that. And if it turned out I could be a candidate, there was certainly no assurance that it would be successful. Facing this reality, I knew the most responsible thing I could do was to step aside from ownership. I certainly didn't want to create additional turmoil for my wife, my family, my staff, or the community who had placed such sacred trust in our firm. There was just too much at risk for too many.
Among my greatest convictions in my decision to sell was a deep and abiding concern for the best depth and breadth of experience, knowledge and resources to successfully continue the firm - with well over 100 years of history - into perpetuity. My predecessors deserved that. The funeral home staff deserved that. Our community deserved that. And I needed that.
My biggest surprise? SCI was personable, open, honest, and honorable at every turn. I found them to be well-versed, well-prepared, and with a depth of knowledge and experience that was as appreciated as it was necessary for the quick time-frame my circumstances required. Moreover, they were clearly concerned about me - as a person . . . my health and my prognosis and my family - and made sure that I understood, along with my brokers, every single step and every single detail of the process.
The closing was on-time, with every last detail as discussed and as agreed. With the firm ownership now transitioned into capable hands, I was freed to focus solely on a stem cell transplant, now only three days away, and everything that restoring my health would demand of me. Turns out, that took everything I had.
Fast forward. The stem cell transplant was successful! My health continued to improve. Follow-up procedures were completed on schedule and my immune system - completely wiped out by the quantity and the severity of the chemotherapy I had received - is fully rejuvenated. Blood count trajectories indicate positive trends toward continued remission. For all of this, I am truly blessed and exceedingly grateful and have been in remission now for over 7 years.
Months following the sale, my staff members were still working at the funeral home and families were still being served with the same level of care, compassion, and professionalism the firm was known for. And, to my continued amazement, John Faulk from SCI continued to call me regularly, just to see how I was doing. I could not have been more impressed.
Several conversations later, I mentioned to John that someone should really share this process with other owners, whether they ever intend to sell or not. There are so many things that most funeral home owners don't ever have to think about, I reminded him, until they choose to - or, like me, have to - sell. Waiting until then, I found, significantly limits your options and the learning curve can be pretty steep.
About a year after my transplant and back on the road to restored health, I found myself on a second unexpected path with SCI: I am honored to have joined this very same SCI team that had immeasurably helped me during the most critical time and transition of my professional life. And this role with SCI is as pay-it-forward as I could possibly imagine: I get to help other owners learn and understand critical aspects of transitional preparedness that I can only wish I had known before that game-changer phone call from my doctor completely rocked my world.
Please know that you don't need to be interested in selling - just interested in educating yourself - in order to appreciate this conversation. There are critical metrics to understand, important documents that should be readily available, and essential concepts to be aware of if ever you would find yourself selling your firm - whatever the reason, and whoever the buyer.
It's been said many times that no one plans to fail - but many fail to plan. As funeral directors, we've all helped people in our communities understand the importance and the value of planning ahead for their funeral arrangements. And, we all know, that while many intend to get their pre-arrangements in place, comparatively few ever actually get it done.
In the midst of aggressive cancer treatment and facing potentially the worst, I was reduced - by default - to learning everything about selling my firm as I actually went through the process. You don't have to. Feel free to call me at 563.293.6920 or drop me a line at [email protected]. We can have a completely confidential conversation with no obligation, no expectation, and no pretense. You certainly don't need to be interested in selling to benefit from the conversation.
Just willing to learn.
David W. Deuth, CFSP
Licensed Funeral Director & Business Development Manager [email protected] w. 563.293.6920 |
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